INSIDEMAINLAND – I have three daughters and they are extremely beautiful and intelligent. They all want to be medical doctors and also have French names.
Chantal is the first. Extremely beautiful and bold. They say she is the closest to me and doesn’t fear me. She is presently in the UK pursuing a pre-med program. I Saw her results d other day and almost asked for a DNA test. She scored a straight A in everything. Remember say I fail form 4 three times.
The second is tall, light and madly beautiful. set with dreamy eyes and stands like a queen from the south of the pacific. ANNETTE is excitingly intelligent. Straight A and also wants to be a medical Doctor. I want her to be the first female Governor of Akwa Ibom as she has won her first election. But she wants to be a Dr.
Zara is the last born. Evolving into an East African type of beauty. Ebony skinned with long legs like the river Zambezi. She is shy but massively talented.
A talented dancer on stage and a mercurial academic. Straight A student with a strong penchant for the sciences. No wonder she wants to be a medical doctor
Now on one weekend Annette and I were at the shopping mall trying to shop for her. I could feel the stares from all the males some old enough to be her grandfather and I didn’t know what to feel.
I was angry, happy and jealous all in one state. This is my daughter that these stupid males want to nack o.
I will kill someone today o. She was oblivious of all the attention and was only keen on the jewellery she was casing out for her N100k Xmas shopping budget.
All of a sudden one boy emerges from the crowd. He was a teenager. He was tall, brownish and handsome.
He was bold as he walked up to me and said, sir, can Annette join us for pizza?
I looked at him and looked at Annette and my heart sank. Just as I was about to tell the stupid Yoruba boy to fuck off, Annette hugged me and said’ Joe let me go plsssssssss’.
I said ok dear and she hopped away with this Yoruba boy o.
If I had an APC card, I would have torn it instantly. I didn’t know what to feel. This is how it starts, this boy wants to nack my child.
Jealousy hit me. Pain in my chest and the contradiction of my situation not letting me rest.
I stood there with a small tear rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t know what to do as I didn’t recognise this new feeling. It has not been labelled
It was a mixture of jealousy, pride and fear. It needs a new name. It has to be rebranded.
Just this afternoon I called Chantal on a video call and she was looking divine. She looked even more beautiful and I Said let me see under the bed and she showed me and she said,’ Joe don’t worry yourself when I start having sex I will let you know.
Mbok, I died. I dropped the phone and ran into the toilet.
This girl has just ruined my N1m vacation. I need counselling.
Don’t think I can handle my daughter nacking.