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#DukeOfSomolu: The Malaria Pandemic

INSIDEMAINLAND – Nigerians are very exciting people. All of a sudden many people are coming down with malaria.

Anybody that is ill now will say I am struggling with malaria so that you won’t stigmatize them and be running away from them.

As I speak I know so many people with ‘malaria that it is safe to say that we are now having a malaria pandemic.

But do u blame people? Is it not easier to say that I have malaria than to say I have covid. Some brave people have come out to say they have covid and I salute them

The vast majority claim malaria. Abi what else will you do when the thing comes with malaria symptoms and it is almost the same kind of drug you will use to combat it?

So here we are delirious in our ignorance spreading and respreading the Damn thing like street urchins in Shomolu playing in the gutter under the rain.

The fact that in most cases people come out of it in like three days with little or no treatment fuels the apathy towards the vaccine or other such precautions.

Nigerians are exciting people. You should go to concerts, malls and churches and see the way spit is being exchanged defying the social distance plea.

Is it sex? We are nacking away like there is no tomorrow. No hotel rooms in Lagos. I tried a research on Friday for the fun of it and called 6 hotels within the Ikoyi area and all were fully booked.

One manager even wondered what was going on as he was considering turning his house into a brothel while he moved to his car.

They say if you do it from the back u won’t exchange fluids and as such covid can’t come.

For me, I think the Government should be more transparent in this matter. What is the real situation, why is the mortality rate less than 1%. Why is infection rate quadrupling and discharge rate at the same time witnessing an upsurge?

People are no longer afraid of the thing. They just walk into the next chemist once they show symptoms and get healed without all of that drama we first witnessed at the onset with quarantine contact tracing and all that crap.

For me, I am living my life like I already have it. I will not do any test for why would I spend 50k to do a test that with 5k I will get cure if I am positive.

I have stacked my house with all the vitamin C and D and zinc and I have been steaming twice a day and waiting for malaria to come.

If and when it comes we will deal with it. Well, for now, na Malaria we get , we are Nigerians we are special.



Joseph Edgar
Joseph Edgar is an Investment banker and Columnist with Thisday and DailyTimes newspapers. He is witty and is a hilarious writer.