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Chris Okotie and The Jerry Curl Parables – #DukeOfSomolu

I used to be a member of his church; waking up early getting dressed and jumping into the rickety bus to go listen to him sing. He was the wonder kid of our days. Our own Wizkid and Davido rolled up in one whose monster hits defined the era. All that is in the past except his jerry curled locks which seemed to have outlived the era of his sojourn in the entertainment industry. Today, he is a joke.

Bumbling from one fiasco to the other, eroding whatever is left of his credibility on the altar of malfeasance and in its wake making some of us begin to question his sanity. He has always been a haughty young man, refusing to share the spotlight even in his church. I used to sit and watch him do everything from opening prayer, to preaching, to praise worship and the closing prayers. Delegation was not his strong point, prancing around the stage like a peacock, asking us to watch him sing, watch his beautiful clothes and much more importantly watch the wetness drip down from his ever so oily and curly signature hair. He was Chris Okotie, the Pastor that used to walk around with a gun, refusing to rely on his heavenly father for protection but seizing control of his own protection with his gun he was controversial. He was Okotie.

Then God spoke to him. God touched his head and anointed him to lead us. Not only his small assemblage of gullible devotees but the whole 180 million of us. We needed him to take us to the Promised Land with nothing but big high faulting and meaningless grammar spewing out of his jerry curled head. He was Chris Okotie and we must take him seriously.

Of course he failed woefully almost denting the credibility of his ‘god’, the one who sent him, the one from Uromi, the guardian angel of all salon owners not the Almighty God that we all worshipped. He immediately went into political hibernation to lick his self-inflicted wounds while continuing to amaze stupendous wealth grilled out of the very gullible devotees who afford him the platform to live such an extravagant life.

Now, instead of him to continue with his life of grandeur milking from the fools who send in their tithes from their meager wages, he has come out once again to further embarrass himself. In full page paid advertorials, in a babble of confused words he has asked the two major parties to calm down and make him their consensus candidate. Using words that would make the famed Obiagbon green with envy, he succeeded in casting aspersion as to his mental state.

I could not laugh after reading the advertorial but just shook my head with pity reminding myself not to take this person serious. However, by this morning sensing that I was committed to writing weekly articles on this platform and with nothing to write, I decided to take this subject. That is how bland I feel about this pretender for I see him as a non-issue and as such should be treated as a mild irritant.

Let me apologise to my readers for today’s write up, by tomorrow I will get my groove back and will treat a much more serious subject far removed from this jerry curled pantomime. I am sorry. Thank you.



Joseph Edgar
Joseph Edgar is an Investment banker and Columnist with Thisday and DailyTimes newspapers. He is witty and is a hilarious writer.