Home > Your say > Codeine: Confessions of an addict – #DukeOfSomolu

Codeine: Confessions of an addict – #DukeOfSomolu

Well, they say codeine has taken over the country or why would a sitting Senator jump out of the bus and sit on the floor screaming; “I will kill myself and put you in trouble”. If not for codeine why would he think taking his own life would put anybody talk less of the Police in trouble for that matter. This codeine has really taken over our senses because a mere sniff of the poisonous liquid drives very sane people mad or how do you explain the rampage in the Senate the other day.

Some people they have called thugs and later called state agents jumped into the Senate which is usually very empty and grabbed the maze and in a codeine filled haze ran away with the maze. All the security around the hallowed halls of the Senate chambers transfixed from the abuse of codeine could only watch with ghoulish smiles on their weather-beaten faces, staring like zombies without a care only wondering when they will get the next fix.

As they sat to deliberate on the purchases of the new helicopters or is it warplanes, they passed around the cups of codeine, celebrating a decision that would weaken our democracy but could not care less. They had lost all sense of inhibition. They laughed across the table as they signed the devilish documents dispatching millions of dollars to the blonde crazed ghoul ruling the land of Uncle Sam.

If not for codeine, how do you explain the carnage in the middle belt? Daily, innocents lose their lives in a codeine fuelled spree of wanton massacre ostensibly to appease the cattle who rule them. The cows must be comfortable or else they would block the path to heaven and any fool who dares stands, by the way, would have to be felled.

It is a codeine fuelled life. We are not complaining and the recent ban would only drive it underground and increase its value, leading to more crime to support this most admired drug of choice. There is nothing wrong with taking codeine filled syrup; after all, it cures a stubborn cough. What or who else can we turn to when our leaders are in themselves merchants of death deaf and blind to our cries and continue to deal with us with an impunity that would make the wicked pharaohs of yore cringe in embarrassment at this level of cruelty.

Please bring the codeine. I really need it for I must zone out and stay there for as long as the effect numbs my senses pulling me away from the stark reality of a hellish Nigeria ruled by drug-fueled narcissists. I am out!



Joseph Edgar
Joseph Edgar is an Investment banker and Columnist with Thisday and DailyTimes newspapers. He is witty and is a hilarious writer.