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Dino didn’t run after all – #DukeOfSomolu

Woke up this morning with a sense of foreboding. My car was suddenly draining oil. The oil was not leaking from anywhere and it was not smoking; the oil just evaporated. This must be Jonathan’s fault like every other thing. Since this Jonathan came to power, everything has been going wrong and I am sure he was also to blame for this situation with my car.

Anyways, I went about my business with the fervour of a race horse. Met with the always beautiful Bolanle Austen Peters who was in the throes of rehearsal for her upcoming run on the massively popular show FELA. For such a sweet figure, she has built much more than just a brand but has perfectly redefined a whole new industry. As the young nubile sweet little girls pranced about the stage in very skimpy outfits, I could only struggle to keep my concentration. The energy was palpable and the hard work was contagious. I think once again, she would amaze the world. Great lady.

As I drove back to the office, the matter of Dino Melaye the embattled Senator from Kogi came to mind. I had once met him at the beautiful Moore House Hotel in Ikoyi. We shook hands and was introduced by my friend, Ikhide Imukhude who is now on economic exile in the US. We exchanged numbers and used to chat on WhatsApp for a bit until he blocked me. While we kept the communications line open, he had intrigued me enough to make me want to do a book on him and he accepted although asking for time. I kept reminding him until one day when he lost his temper and blew me off. Me too I didn’t just cow; I also blew him off after all is he the first singing Senator. Abeg, make he go siddon.

So while in Abuja, the story was that he had run away and that he had threatened the Senate President and thirty other Senators. Well Melaye can be anything but a turn coat he is not. He has shown that he can be very loyal despite a rash of eccentric behaviour not only involving singing off key and dancing the macabre dance of the mad while whizzing in Yoruba folklore as he abuses his opponent.

In relieve, he was sighted at the just concluded Dangote wedding. That one I will talk about much later. He dared to give out his daughter without my consent? Another of Jonathan’s failures. Kai.

Well anyways, our Black Panther has come out to debunk his exile story and has reaffirmed his love for Nigeria while not forgetting to ask the IG of Police for assistance in his fight with his Kogi nemesis. How he expects to get the IG’s sympathy beats me. Anyways, the most important thing is that he has not run away. He is still here to bore us to death with more songs. Only God knows when he will be doing a duet with his dancing counterpart. I mean that one that does not even know why he is at the Senate.

So back to my couch, from where I started the day. In my jalabia and writing this piece for the InsideMainland website who reach over 40,000 people daily. Well I don sleep.



Joseph Edgar
Joseph Edgar is an Investment banker and Columnist with Thisday and DailyTimes newspapers. He is witty and is a hilarious writer.