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#TemieSpeaks: You think you know what love means?

Love is spiritual. There can’t be too much love or too little. Love is love. Love can be extreme sometimes but who cares?

In the spirit of Valentine, I decided we should talk about love. I asked a few of my friends what love means to them and I got to see love through their eyes.

Love is kind, love forgives, love is being sincere. “Love means being truthful, not hurtful. Love is being able to forgive, being able to tolerate the next person’s flaws”, said Tunde, my older brother.

A close sweet friend of mine, Abigail said: “Love is attention, care and going the extra mile for someone.”

As I continued with my research on love, I realized that there is no definition of love. What love means to me is not what it means to you. Our definition of love is influenced by our experiences.

Owolabi said, “Love is selfish. For every time you express this love, you begin with “I”. Love is positive selfishness as opposed to hate which is negative selfishness.”

An aunty of mine, Bimbo disagrees with this as she sees love as unapologetic and ultimate selflessness. She said “love is putting that special person before yourself. It could be your partner, husband, child or whoever.”

Lucia also agreed. Her definition of love is simply selflessness.

“Love is unconditional,” said Tolu. My baby brother, Lanre supported Tolu when he said, “love is caring for someone else deeply and unconditionally.”

I enjoyed the experience of seeing love through the eyes of others from different works of life, young and old, male and female. It was beautiful.

One of my favorite by far was from an old friend of mine, Adeolu aka. Cognitive. He said: “Love is an advanced and constant form of care. It can grow, it can die but it can’t be forgotten.”

Deep, isn’t it?

My very hilarious brother who I think should have been a comedian said love is February 14. He didn’t explain further and though it sounded stupid, it got me thinking of how most people only show love and want special love and affection on Valentine’s Day. I thought love has no time and season. I thought it was unconditional.

I see Valentine’s Day as the day you show love to your loved ones for all the times you forgot to say I love you, for all the times you forgot to show appreciation, affection and care. Instead, some people choose to wait till Valentine’s Day to show they care.

Johnson said love is about “giving someone the ability to hurt you or making yourself vulnerable to someone or people but trusting them not to.”

Tunrayo said, “love is an affectionate devotion you have towards someone. It is when you have that feeling of common sense leaving you when you see that person”

Love has no meaning, yet it means a lot. I share the same sentiment on love as a friend of mine, Ebun. “Love can best be described as kindness, patience, selflessness, lacking envy or judgment. It endures all, bears all and hopes all, flaws and all. We don’t love when it benefits us. Love just happens,” she said.

We can talk about love all day. Some do not even believe in love but I do. I love ‘Love’ and love to see people in love. I am in love and enjoy being emotionally dependent on someone else. It may hurt sometimes but it does not have to.

Love will never go out of style, it will never be cliché. No matter how much hate we have in this world, love will still exist and thrive.

My heart melted when my 14-year-old little sister defined love, it was the most beautiful thing ever. I leave you with her sweet words from a sincere heart.

“Love is a beautiful thing. It is unconditional. Love is love. Love is you and I, we are sisters.”

God bless her heart.

Happy Valentine’s Day.



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